Have you ever been attacked by a raccoon?

Did you put antiseptic in your cuts if you did? If so did it sting? If it stung did you wail in pain? If you wailed in pain did someone tell you to be quiet? If someone told you to be quiet did you get angry? If you got angry did you throw something at them? If you threw something at them did you hit them? If it hit them did they retaliate? If they retaliated did you set a raccoon on to them? If you set a raccoon on to them did it attack them? If it attacked them did they put antiseptic on their cuts?